The Big V

Lets talk about the V word, no not vagina but virginity. Yes think back some of you readers, to long ago when you were deflowered, became a woman, and all the other bad terms for losing your virginity. Yes Madonna sang about it and shocked the world, ”Like a virgin, touched for the very first time”. For many there’s a story about it both good and bad. But for most it is an event you never forget.

The reason I started thinking about it was the recent controversy in Britain, surrounding a 12 year old boy, who at the time was thought to have fathered a baby with a 15 year old girl. Oh my god how the times are changing, or am I just a prude. But at 12 I was still secretly playing with Barbie and with the help of Ken pretending I knew what sex was. Even at 15, I was still quiet shy with the opposite sex and certainly hadn’t gone past first base! What is too young? I myself think it is better to wait until you have met someone special, and are comfortable with your body and totally in control of your decisions.

I have a friend whose daughter is 14, and I have heard many stories about her friends, which make me cringe and worry. If I had a daughter she’d be locked up until adulthood, that being at least 18! When did girls start to lose their virginity at 12 and 13? Surely that’s not typical in my era. According to a 2007 survey done by Durex, “People worldwide are having sex for the first time at an average age of 17.3. Just over a third (35%) say they were 16 or under when they lost their virginity. Young people continue to have sex at an earlier age than previous generations: while the 25-34s lost their virginity at 17.9, the 21-24 year olds were 17.5 and 16-20 year olds were just 16.3. Women are sexually active earlier than men – at 17.2 compared with 17.5″. Ok so the younger generations are definitely starting earlier, what surprised me is that women are generally younger than men when having sex for the first time. But I think men talk it up more and maybe fib a little to look cool around their mates. Don’t blame them really.

I decided to survey my own group of loyal, ever sharing friends to see how they compared. Most of us are in the 25-34 year old category. The majority of women had sex for the first time around the age of 17. And the men, surprisingly older between 17-19. One friend was 13, but felt it didn’t count because he wasn’t with someone he loved, but coerced by a friend’s older sister. I hear all you men saying, “ I wish”, but really is 13 old enough to deal with the responsibility and emotional stress of first time sex? I mean, at that age the word vagina and penis still makes you fall over in hysterics.

I was 19 and in a relationship with my first serious boyfriend. I remember it being a huge thing and making him wait 4 months. Ok I didn’t get to wear white at my Wedding, but I certainly waited till I was mentally ready. For a woman it’s not necessarily a comfortable or pleasurable thing. Your nervous, scared, often under the influence of alcohol (ok I admit I was), and it can be quiet embarrassing. We have all heard and told the stories about the fumbling, not quiet knowing were the right hole is. This doesn’t really change with age either! But it is a sacred thing to a lot of people, and you don’t just want to give it away. Having said that, recently a 22 year old woman put her virginity up for sale on Ebay and received bids of up to 3.7 million dollars. Firstly who are the perverts who bid! And secondly, why? To pay for her studies of course. What happened to having morals? Maybe I am a prude but some things are meant to be sacred and your virginity is one of them.

Posted in Media, Sex and naughty stuff on July 10th, 2009 by Blog Admin | | 0 Comments

Positions 101 – Part 2

Time to do part 2 of my research into sexual positions. I recently found myself in a difficult position, literally. I now know the standing up position (both facing the wall, him behind) would be easier if I was taller or at least with a strong muscle man who could lift me. And I mean strong. Not only was it amusing and kind of frustrating, but made me realise not every position works for everyone! Here’s a couple more Kuma Satra positions to amuse and amaze.

The spooning or sideways position is one of my favourites. The classic spoon with your body facing away from your partner allows for close contact. It’s easy and great for slow sensual lovemaking.The womans body is also in a excellent position for extra stimulation from the man or herself. There are a few variations, scissors, top dog and deep sea diver, which all have the man doing a bit more work, I think I like the sound of that. This is the only time I’ll let a man take charge and call the shots.

This is the Kama Sutra’s Sixth Sexual Position of the Perfumed Garden, or simply put “doggie style”. According to “Real sex for real women”, by L. Berman, ” It is the most animalistic of all positions, and allows men and women to get in touch with their primal urges.” I think this is a favourite for most men for this reason, they all like to think their animals. It’s not about making love, but pure raw sex. The man likes it because he gets to watch himself thrust, probably whilst imagining himself as the star of a porno. For the woman it’s good stimulation of the so called “G” spot, and allows the man to have hands free to touch other areas. Not so good when in all the excitement the woman ends up head butting the back of the bed with each thrust. How do you explain that black eye! Apparently if the guy can lift your legs in the air while in this position, you’ll be doing the “wheelbarrow”. And it burns more calories. This sounds better already.

Another Perfumed Garden position called “Race of the Member”. This is one strange garden is all I can say! Apparently inspired by horseback riding. Mmmm, yes I can see that, sort of. The mans on his back with his knees towards his chest, his thighs form a V shape, which is like the saddle. The woman straddles the thighs and squats onto the penis, controlling the movement with her thighs, just like riding a horse. Oh now I get it. Well all I can say is that woman had better have srtong thighs. I wonder if it’s better if you say giddy up, and wear a riding cap? Then when your finished, not only do you walk funny from having just done a thigh workout but because you just got off the back of a horse. I’m laughing!

Leave a comment, let me know your favourite position. Go on, don’t be shy.

Posted in Sex and naughty stuff on May 17th, 2009 by Blog Admin | | 1 Comments

The Buzz Word

Some dialogue from one of my favorite shows, “Sex and the City”.

Miranda: Ladies, I’d like you to meet “The Rabbit.”

Carrie: 92 dollars?!

Miranda: Think about the money we spend on shoes.

Charlotte: Well I have no intention of using that. I’m saving sex for someone I love.

Miranda: Fantastic. Is there a man in the picture?

(Carrie takes it out of the box)

Charlotte: Look! Oh, it’s so cute! Oh I thought it would be all scary and weird, but it isn’t! It’s pink, for girls! I love the little bunny, it has a little face! Like Peter Rabbit.

Carrie: And it’s even got a remote. I mean, how lazy do you have to be?

I woke up at 5.30am this morning with the idea for this blog. Don’t ask me why I had vibrators on the mind, but it gave me inspiration.The above episode from Sex and the City introduced the Rabbit vibrator to many females around the world, here in Oz it retailed for around $250!  Charlotte became a recluse after using it, so apparently the cost was worth it. I remember buying my first vibrator in Canberra, the home of our politicians and a suburb Fishwick known for it’s fireworks and sex related stores. I went in with my girlfriends and our partners, I think the boys were very uncomfortable but of course us girls giggled our way through the store. My best friend and I decided on matching glow in the dark vibrators, that supposably resembled the real thing. That night we left them out (for a laugh) displayed on the bedside table. I will never forget waking up in the night to a glowing luminous penis, it was quiet dirturbing. My boyfriend was disgusted that I bought it, after all I had him, but every woman needs to own her own toy you never know when you might need it.

That one got thrown out when I was moving one day and my mum was helping me pack my room. When I saw it in the naughty draw I quickly threw it out so she wouldn’t see (mums don’t have those sort of things). So thats when i got my own Rabbit, actually it was the cheaper version called “the Penguin”. My girlfriend and I were shopping and saw that Sexpo (health, sex, lifestyle exhibition) was on. I refused to pay the $25 entry fee on the basis that we could go to a sex shop for free to get what we needed. Ok, I sound like a tight arse but these things aren’t cheap you know. Anyway, so off to “Fantasy Lane” in Production Ave we go (yes thats really the name of the street) for a shopping expedition. These places are a real eye opener, there are things I have never seen before and never want to see again! At one stage I was standing baffled looking at a section of the store, when my girlfriend yelled out, “do you realise you’re in the butt section”. Needless to say I ran away very quickly giggling all the way. Again we ended up buying matching purple penguin vibrators (I know the matching thing sounds weird but they were 2 for one). Not glow in the dark, no remote, but with lots of functions, ball bearing looking things and a rotating penis, what more could you ask for. And, half the price of the rabbit, nothing like a bargain.

The last laugh goes to the Sex and the City girls again.

Miranda: You haven’t met the Rabbit

Samantha: Oh, come on. if your going to get a vibrator, at least at least get one called the Horse.

Posted in Sex and naughty stuff on April 17th, 2009 by Blog Admin | | 0 Comments

Boxers V Briefs

Last week I wrote about my new flatmate and the discussions I’ve had with friends about our domestic issues. This led to a conversation whilst having lunch one day about the fact that I sometimes do the washing, which of course means I touch his clothing including his underwear. Strangely enough my male friends were the ones surprised at this; Which led on to a whole conversation about underwear, men’s testicles and how it hangs etc. This intrigued me to look into the whole boxers versus briefs debate. To find what types of undies are worn more, which is more comfortable, and why all the fiddling and playing around down there?

Men’s underwear over time has become as much about fashion as comfort. When I was growing up I only remember my Dad wearing plain briefs, the type you get in a 10 pack at the local Kmart. Only after my Mum went and bought them, because as she said “the arse is hanging out of your undies”. Now we have the whole hip-hop gangster look, where your Calvin Klein (proudly displayed on the thick waistband) underwear is seen above your waistband of your jeans, which hang very loosely down around your knees. And the fact that top designers now have a huge market for underwear tells me that maybe men do care about what they’re wearing underneath. Looking at my flatmate’s underwear (clean of course) I notice he has all brand names including, Calvin, Tommy Hilfiger, Bonds, not a Rio in sight and all briefs. So I did what I always do and surveyed my male friends, they must love getting my texts asking them for personal details I then share with everyone. Of course the answers are all anonymous.

Firstly we need to cover the underwear itself, the types and styles available to men these days. I must say even I was surprised at the variety available.

• Briefs or “tighty whities” – your basic briefs, though now available in more colours and styles including those with the thick elastic waistband and sometimes designers name displayed. Some do have funny pouch things on the front, like a y front with a hole I don’t really get this as it would be easier to just drop your pants to pee then maneuver it through a hole, maybe I’m confused as to it’s use?
• Boxer Briefs (mini boxer) – the tighter fitting or boyleg style boxer.
• Boxers – many colours, materials, patterns and motives to choose from. Can display tragic and/or cute characters and jokes.
• The freeballer – those adventurous men who wear none at all.
  There are a few styles that deserve a mention, but may not be as popular for the average Aussie male.
• The thong or “g string”, best left to the male models or those participating in the Mardi Gras parade.
• Edible undies – well they have a time and place!
• Bikini briefs – best for tanned, muscular, European men who have a great body but not much of a package.

I surveyed men with ages ranging from 21 to 60. Asking do they prefer boxers or briefs? And why do they adjust themselves all the time, for comfort, to rearrange or pleasure? As always some very amusing answers, but the majority of men wore briefs, mainly for comfort and they offer support or as one put it, “boxers allow for too much movement, can’t concentrate”, and another said, “briefs keeps em in line”. The few that wore boxers mainly chose fitted over loose, again to keep the package under control. Boxers do cover up a lot and leave something to the imagination; you can’t really tell what’s in there. I read somewhere boxers tended to be for the very young or over 60’s who just let it all hang out and briefs, not always the good kind for the 30-60 year olds. I myself love a guy in tight boxer style underwear especially if they have a tight butt.

As for the always touching and moving their package around, all said it was to rearrange and that adjustment is necessary for comfort. Another classic quote, ”you try having 2 teabags between your legs”, and “men adjust for comfort we get bits sticking to each other”. Probably more information than I needed but I asked! The funniest story came from my sister whose partner is a freeballer at all times. Once his underwear fell apart he just never replaced it, he likes the freedom but still occasionally has to readjust. Being a laborer he wears shorts to work and one day on the way home on the train realized his penis was hanging out of a hole in them. Unsure what to do he left it till he got the next stop and could subtly rearrange, very funny and maybe a reason to wear underwear.

Overall briefs seem to be the winner, but it has been said that tight underwear can affect your little swimmers, apparently over heating in that area can slow your sperm down and make it harder to fall pregnant. So if your girlfriend insists you wear boxers, you know why.

Posted in Men's Issues on March 22nd, 2009 by Blog Admin | | 3 Comments

I’ll Have What She’s Having…

Hi all, I wrote the following post as a guest piece, on another site. Please go check it out, another informative and fantastic blog. Momfamilychild

According to most statistics, only 30% of women will achieve orgasm during intercourse. Now I’m talking penile- vaginal intercourse alone. What a relief I thought I was the only one who needed more than a little help to achieve the big O. I decided to research the female orgasm for this blog entry, wow, there are a lot of hits for this one and boy did I learn a lot. Let me give you an overview to achieving an orgasm, men should read this too, you might learn something.

Firstly both men and women need to understand female genitalia, I myself had to look up how to spell that! Knowing where to find a vagina is a start, don’t laugh remember all the teenage movies where the young male is feeling around “down there” in search of the girly bits. Well, it’s real, some boys, and men don’t know and just feel around in that general vicinity hoping to strike gold. Simply knowing there’s a clitoris is useless if you don’t know why it’s there and what it does. According to Laura Bernman PhD, ” the holy grail of female sexual pleasure is the clitoris.” Because it is the size of a small pea and known to help turn us women on, I find men tend to be a little heavy handed. No, it’s not a button you just press and it’s all over, it is a very supersensitive area which I think is better stimulated indirectly and I’m definitely not scared to tell a man this.

As women we can have three types of orgasms, clitoris, G-spot and cervical. No worries with the clitoris side of things, but the elusive G-spot. Apparently this hot spot leads to “intense orgasms”, probably helps if you can find it first. I do remember going in search of this so called G-spot with an ex- boyfriend, after a while he asked if I came with a manual. Gee, that really took the fun out of it. I had to remind him I wasn’t a piece of furniture from Ikea, if he needed step by step instructions then he was best to look it up and get back to me. Note I did say ex-boyfriend! Seriously for many women I think you need all 3 areas stimulated to achieve orgasm, well at least 70% of us.

Now of course there are other contributing factors to whether or not you can achieve the big O. One of those factors is alcohol, too much may give you confidence but we all have experienced the down side of one to many. My girlfriend and I often discuss our sex lives and agree when we drink that it’s harder to orgasm. I’m not sure if men are aware of this but we have trouble “getting it up” too. Not literally of course but it definately numbs the senses a little. Alcohol makes you less inhibited maybe even a little daring but can make for long, sloppy and unfinished sex. Definitely no big O for either party.

Another factor is positions. Not all positions lead to orgasms. Men seem to think we turn into gymnasts when having sex, especially when plied with alcohol. Prince wasn’t lying when he sang,” gett off, 23 positions in a one night stand.” Yes, you may be great showing your knowledge of the Kama Sutra positions but really, having my legs up around my neck for 30 minutes is not necessarily going to achieve anything. Although sometimes I’m quiet proud of the fact that my legs can even get passed my waist. Women on top is well loved for a reason, it allows all the right areas to be stimulated that achieve orgasms. I also feel like I’m in charge a bit more, I am a Virgo after all.

Next, I think being in a secure relationship you feel more confident and relaxed, you get to know each others bodies and you’re not afraid to ask questions and direct them in the right direction. I’ve also talked about age before, for me it’s definitely a contributing factor to enjoying sex more. In my 30’s I enjoy sex more, and I’m more confident. I’m not afraid to ask for what I want, and not so worried about how big my butt looks in the mirror or if my boobs look droopy when Im on top. I’ve learnt if men are having sex they don’t care.

Ok, what about faking it a la Meg Ryan in the famous restaurant scene in “When Harry Met Sally”. I don’t believe in faking it, if it’s not happening why pretend, then they will never learn anything. My friend say’s she feels bad and doesn’t want to make her boyfriend think he is inadequate. Remember, (let him know this) all the above factors and the percentage of women who orgasm every time through intercourse alone is only 30%. They will get over it. There is so need to fake, best to just relax and enjoy.

Gee, I don’t think I’ve ever used the word vagina, clitoris and orgasm so much in one story. But I hope you learnt something or at least had a laugh. And when I do finally find this so called G-spot you’ll be the first to know.

Posted in Sex and naughty stuff on February 27th, 2009 by Blog Admin | | 1 Comments

Once a Cheater…

Do leopards ever change their spots, if the saying is true…no. After my weekend on the town for a hen’s night I have decided I don’t think men can be trusted. Ever.

I had a hens night in the city with a group of about 20 girls all dressed up and ready for some naughtiness and fun. First stop I managed to chat up two men from the Uk, who straight away admitted they were both married to aussie women. Smart men. This didn’t stop me from chatting to them, marriage doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to talk to the opposite sex. Many drinks later one of the fella’s was touching my leg, telling me how pretty I was. A lot of champagnes had passed my lips so I giggled and took in all the attention, only to later think he was slightly sleazy, and wondered where his wife was? Whats the harm in a bit of flirting i guess, as long as it leads nowhere.

A few pubs, and a harbour cruise later we ended up at a nightclub, giant inflatable penis on hand to rip up the dance floor to tragic 80’s retro music. By this stage I will admit I was well and truly drunk but still standing, running around in charge of making sure our giant penis didn’t go missing. I took this task very seriously and reprimanded many people for touching it without permission! Anyway along my travels I eneded up sitting down for a rest next to a cute young man who struck up a conversation with me, (Im sure it resembled a conversation.) He was 26, told me about himself, sounded mature and like a nice person if I’m to trust my judgment at 3am. After much animated disscusion about our lives, football players and sleazy men we decided it was time to call it a night. The sun was soon to be making an appearance. We strolled hand in hand through the streets, pashing along the way till we had to say our goodbyes. He took my number and asked if he could call me in a week when I get home from holidays. All giddy with the prospect of a date or maybe from lack of sleep I got on the train with a smile on my face and slept all the way home. In fact for too long and I ended up two stations too far from my own!

I knew his name so the next day I decided to see if I could Facebook him and check him out. Facebook is handy for that, although I did feel a bit stalkerish. Having an unusual name I found him easily and remotely recognised him from the night before. Name, check, Date of birth, check, relationship status, Engaged, Home town, Sydney… Hang on a minute ENGAGED! He said he was on a bucks night I didn’t consider it could be his! I was astounded that I hadn’t even thought to ask him if he was single as he happily played tonsil hockey with me and insinuated he would definately like to do more. How dissapointing, I guess that phone call won’t be coming but at least I know why this time. Because he lied and is obviously a dishonest person. Who will probably never change his spots even when married. I feel sorry for his fiancee. All I can say is I hope I don’t end up with someone like him.
NEXT!

Posted in Sex and naughty stuff on September 22nd, 2008 by Blog Admin | | 1 Comments

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