Holiday Romance

Think of the last romantic holiday you had. For many it would probably be your honeymoon, if you were lucky enough to have one. It makes me think of romantic walks on the beach, cocktails by the pool, passionate lovemaking, candlelit dinners and of course gazing into each others eyes and whispering “I love you” as the sun sets on the horizon. OK, is it making you want to puke yet? Or maybe complain to your husband that he’s never romantic anymore. This mostly happens in the movies, to girls like Julia Roberts and Meg Ryan, with guys like Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise (pre couch jumping days). It’s not all bad though, I recently had my first holiday with my boyfriend of 6 months to Phuket in Thailand, “the land of smiles”. It definitely had its funny, romantic and frustrating moments, which I’m going to share with you. My boyfriend just loves me sharing our private life!

If you really want to get to know someone, go on holidays with them. I noticed any modesty I had went out the window once we had to share a room 24/7. In a new relationship you’re still getting comfortable with each other, exploring boundaries. Well when you have to share a bathroom with a window that looks out into your bedroom, you soon lose any inhibitions you may have had. The not coming in when I’m on the toilet rule goes on the first day. There are usually only two rooms in a hotel room, the bedroom and bathroom. So it’s very likely you will share these many times. It’s so romantic when you’re on the toilet and your boyfriend decides to shave, or you’re in the shower and he has to pee. After a day I stopped shutting the door, my only rule, I needed privacy to do the important business of number 2, there has to be something left sacred.

We  had many nice dinners together, after scoffing ourselves at the breakfast buffet (I’m talking at least 5 courses) we usually didn’t eat again till dinner. The food in Thailand is delicious and so cheap, so you could go to dinner go all out and not worry about breaking the budget. Now that’s romance. My boyfriend even ate chicken feet and crickets, Yuk. (Fried Crickets taste like chicken apparently); all it did was make me not want to kiss him till he got the grasshopper legs out of his teeth. One night we did have a romantic dinner by candle light at our favourite restaurant, well it was romantic till a local man asked me when my baby was due. OK, I had eaten 2 entrees, Thai red curry, satay chicken and stir fry noodles, so my belly was a little bloated. Of course then I whined the whole way home that I needed to go on a diet and he could never ever see me naked again etc etc. He said all the right things and I soon got over it, to go out and eat more the next night.

We did get to experience the sun setting over the water; you forget how beautiful it is. We got a great spot on the beach right in front of the sun on the horizon. It was very romantic once we accepted the European tourists in front of us, doing Vogue glamour shots with their cameraman director, would not be moving out of the way. So every photo we got has some glamour girl doing an “oh what a feeling” jump in the background. Secretly I think my boyfriend enjoyed this spectacle. We did get a photo of the two of us with the sunset background. Everyone went awwww when they saw it, so it must have been romantic.

One of the funniest moments was when we had been on a night out drinking in Patong. When we arrived back to the hotel, we decided to have a nice sensual bath with champagne and pork crackle chips (these were great, we even brought some home). We needed to cleanse after seeing a ping pong show involving ladies pulling things out of their lady areas. I’m talking a frog, budgie (yes they were alive), eel, and 10 meters of wool among other things. I could really write a whole other blog about this, but let’s not go there! Anyway, what we didn’t realize in our drunken state was that Thai baths although long, are very narrow and two people unless tiny were not going to fit in it together. If you walked in all you would have seen was 4 legs sticking out in all directions, and me laughing so hard it hurt. To make matters worse I dropped the chips in the bath!  It didn’t end up romantic, but definitely a very memorable moment.

Our holiday, with all it’s funny moments and spontaneous adventures was actually very romantic, because it was spent with someone I care about. Even being squashed in economy on a budget airline for a 9 hour trip home, didn’t take a way from what a wonderful experience travelling is with someone else. Everyone always tells you holidaying with your partner is a good test of how strong your relationship is. It can be tiring, sometimes frustrating but when you get home and still want to spend time together, I’d say it was a good sign of things to come. Next holiday? Trekking in Nepal, nah I think Ill stick to romance by the beach.

Posted in Love and Relationships on February 28th, 2010 by Blog Admin | | 0 Comments

L.O.V.E

I have been dating a guy for 5 months, and I’m quite surprised at the amount of people asking if he has said the L word yet. Yep those three scary words, I love you. I just thought we would say it when the time is right. But I guess it is a big deal when you are in a new relationship. Waiting and wondering who says it first? Look at all the songs that have been written about it, “All you need is love, Love is a many Splendored thing, I was made for loving you baby, I will always love you”. The list goes on. Apparently love makes the world go round, but what exactly is love.

Dictionary.com defines love as 1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. 2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. 3. sexual passion or desire. But love can be so many things and it changes and grows over time. How do you know if it’s love? To me, love is such a hard thing to describe in words, as it not only involves feelings, but actions, looks and words. You can easily say I love you but do you really mean it. A male friend once asked me, how do you know when you’re in love with someone? This is a hard question to answer, as we all fall in love differently some quicker and more often than others. Just look at Brad Pitt, he had found the love of his life in Jennifer Anniston, well until Angelina came along. Turns out that SHE is the love of his life! Seriously though, my answer would be, you just know. You know by the overwhelming and happy feelings you get when you think of them or see them, by the excitement you feel when you’re around them. When the thought of losing them would crush you, and you know your life wouldn’t be complete without them in it. It’s in the way they look at you, that tingly feeling you get when they call you. How they care and stand by you through all types of highs and lows. I could have gone on but I think he got the idea. Its so many small things that make you love someone or be in love.

In a group discussion on a website I write for, which is called connect2mums, the question was asked, is there a difference between loving someone and being in love? Peace, one of the editors replied “I think love can be like a jumper sometimes. I bought a really cool knitted cream jumper once. I was all alone living in Ireland. It was beautiful when it was new, and I loved it for its newness, and because it looked great with my jeans. But as it aged I loved it more, but in a different way… I loved it for the memories, for our story together, for its warmth and I loved it for its familiarity even though by then it was completely misshapen and more grey than cream. With time it meant more to me than it had when it was brand new… Maybe love is like that too?” I couldn’t have put it better myself. Love isn’t always the same, it changes over time but it is always still there if you are truly in love.

Of course love that you have for a partner is different than what you have for family and friends. Especially because intimacy is involved, and this only makes a love stronger by having an intense physical attraction. A lot of people confuse lust with love but somewhere along the line these feelings often blend. Desiring someone and sharing passionate and intimate moments when you’re in love is different to when you’re in a casual fling. When there is emotion involved as well it is much more powerful and fulfilling. Gee I sound like such an expert! I have been in love once and I can only share my thoughts and feelings. But there is not one word that can sum it up. A friend of mine used to ask me after a date with a new man, if he made my heart smile? Corny but a good way to describe how he made me feel. Well my heart is definitely smiling now. And when the time comes to say the L word it won’t be planned or thought out, it will be natural, and that is when it’s the right time.

I’ll finish with a favourite quote, from one of my favourite people, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City. She is breaking up with someone, because she doesn’t want to settle for him when she knows it’s not real love. “I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t live without each other love.” It may not be perfect but when you have it, it doesn’t matter.

Posted in Love and Relationships on January 17th, 2010 by Blog Admin | | 1 Comments

Is this Love?

You’re lying in bed after a romantic lovemaking session and your boyfriend breaks wind. Ok, that’s putting it nicely, he voluntarily farts very loudly with no shame or embarrassment. Surely this must be love? What are the signs that you are comfortable in a relationship? I came up with my own list of signs to show your relationship is getting into the comfortable and maybe slightly serious side.

• As I mentioned, farting in front of each other. Men find this acceptable most of the time so it’s not such a big step for them. Once they stop blaming the dog you know they’re comfortable. But for a woman to openly “let one go” in front of a man, means she is well and truly into the relationship. It also means she trusts that her partner won’t go telling all his mates how funny it was. Fart humor never ceases to amuse men.

• Other noises omitted from the body on purpose, such as burping are another sign. Once he burps loudly without excusing himself or looking sheepish, he’s getting more relaxed. If he’s up to burping the alphabet or having competitions with his mates in front of you, he’s definitely not going anywhere.

• Peeing with the door open or whilst your partner is in the shower. This one counts for both sexes, it shows you’re definitely comfortable with each other. If it’s gotten to the stage where you do number two’s whilst in each other’s company, then you should be married or investing in a second toilet!

• When you first get in a relationship, you’re trying to impress each other, dressing well, smelling nice, maintaining all your bits. You know it’s getting serious when he needs a lawn trimmer to find your private parts because you’ve neglected your waxing. If you have hairy legs that resemble a porcupine, you know you’ve definitely let yourself go, a sure sign it’s serious.

• I think underwear can define how serious you are. You’re laughing, but once you start buying his undies you have officially taken over his mother’s role, now that’s serious. For the ladies, who at first wouldn’t be seen in unmatched underwear, once the matching sets and sexy lingerie are only pulled out on special occasions it’s a sure sign she’s comfortable.

• Lastly but very importantly, you have your song. The song that defines you as a couple, when you hear it you think of when you met and how you fell in love. If your song is “Gimme Head” by the Radiators, or “2 out of 3 ain’t bad” by Meatloaf, you still have a while to go till your serious. If you have moved on to Celine Dion, “From this Moment” or Lionel and Diana’s “Endless Love”, then you know you’re there. You are well and truly smitten.

Of course saying the big “L” word to each other, is a very significant and groundbreaking moment in a relationship. But farting and peeing with the door open are more likely to happen first so be happy with the thought that you’re well and truly on your way into being “serious”.

Posted in Uncategorized on October 15th, 2009 by Blog Admin | | 0 Comments