The Number Game.

How many sexual partners have you had in your lifetime? This was the question I recently put to all my faithful and loyal readers and friends. At first I wondered if the question was a bit to personal, but considering all the responses I received, I believe not. In the news recently French First Lady and former supermodel Carla Bruni-Sarkozy caused upset by releasing a song called “my 30 lovers”, which was thought to refer to how many men she had slept with before she married the French President. She in fact says it was more like 15, but 30 actually sounded better in the song. Now, she is a 40 year old woman, divorced with a child. Is 15 a lot of sexual partners? I think not, but my tally has already exceeded this and I am in my early 30’s (still). Your thoughts on this really depends on your own total. This got me thinking, dangerous indeed, what is the average tally? How do my friends compare? So I surveyed my friends whose ages range from around 26 – 45, being very generous with the ratios so they felt more inclined to answer!

The catergories were:

A) 0 – 15

B) 15 – 40

C) 40 – 80

D) Too many to name

Catergory A was the most common answer from both men and women. Mainly from people in long term steady relationships in their 30’s. Myself and a few other females all single in their 30’s obviously out having fun fit into catergory B. An equal amount of both sexes land in Catergory C. Not surprisingly they are all either divorced, with kids, and in their 40’s. One particular girlfriend answered C “to the best of her knowledge”. So Carla you have nothing to worry about! Catergory D basically went to the football team! My friends ex tells us he and his mates have all slept with at least 100 women, roughly. Gee how surprising.

Of course this may not be a true indication as there is a general rule that women halve their total while men double it! I was recently asked by a partner how many men I had slept with. I told him that is a question you should never ask a woman.  And then I lied and halved it! Society still seems to look down upon promiscuous women calling them all sorts of names, skanky, hoe, tart, scrubber all come to mind. Oh that brings back memories of high school name calling. Whilst I believe men are still called studs, and slapped on the back for scoring a big tally, but thats my opinon of course. I wasn’t that surprised by the totals and believe them to be true indications according to each persons history, lifestyle and age.

Funny, I should have put a catergory E, as I got a few answers that read, “not enough”. Mostly from the long term married men. As they say “the grass is always greener”. You so don’t want to be back out in the single world, it’s hard work!

Posted in In the News, Sex and naughty stuff on December 16th, 2008 by Blog Admin | | 1 Comments

Like a Cougar

My girlfriend is a few weeks shy of the big 40, divorced, living alone, and very happy in her single life. But had until recently put work, renovating and baking ahead of meeting men! Not that I object to the baking because she makes great slice! Recently a young guy (I mean old enough to be her son young) tried in vain to get a date out of her. Her excuse was the age gap, he’s too young, and I’ll look like a cradle snatcher. Of course we all encouraged her saying it’s only a number. I myself have used age as an excuse, more worried about what people will think than what I want. Men have been doing it for ages being labeled studs and sugar daddies, so it’s about time a woman can have a toy boy and be proud.So after endless text messages she finally agreed to a date of the nocturnal kind! I received a text the next morning, ” I feel 22 again (literally), I think I’ve got my mojo back.” Having lost it a few years ago after endless bad relationships and dating experiences. We arranged lunch so we could get all the juicy details. In she walks literally glowing with a huge grin on her face and a spring in her step. It’s amazing what a night of passion can do for your self-esteem.

At lunch we got right down to 20 questions:

Was he circumcised? Tick

Good Kisser? Tick

Not too hairy? Tick

And most importantly was he good? Her words- ” he had stamina”!

Yes if there are any men reading we do really talk about you. We compare, we go into detail and we love it. So next time put that little bit of extra effort in because you never know who might talk about you!

Of course he is an addition to the little black book which has had the cobwebs dusted off and is back in action. Call it whatever you like, but I say YOU GO GIRL!

Posted in Age, Sex and naughty stuff on October 11th, 2008 by Blog Admin | | 3 Comments

Man Drought

According to Demographer Bernard Salt – the highest ratio of single men to women is in Singleton, in the Hunter Valley, where there are 2 boys for every girl. SINGLETON! Isn’t it Ironic? Don’t you think? It’s like rain on your wedding day, a free ride when you’re already there, some good advice…. Sorry got carried away there; don’t you just love Alanis? Or if you’re keen to move to Glendon in QLD there are apparently 23 men to each woman. Well, gee what am I doing living in Sydney?

The last few weeks it’s been widely reported in the media, just to rub it in a bit more, (on the eve of my 34th birthday) that there is a man shortage in NSW. Well tell me something I don’t know. According again to Demographer Bernard Salt whose book; Man Drought and other social issues of the new century, ”women will find it easier to snare themselves a man during their 20’s and up to the age of 33, with an oversupply of men in their age group”. This is of course assuming I would want to date a man older than me! This same article said, “25 is the ideal age for ladies to take their pick of gents, when there’s 25 per cent more single men than women”. So looks like I’m about to become a cougar, which of course is an older woman, who dates a man at least 8 years younger than herself. Perfect there seems to be heaps of them available; I can have my pick of the litter. Hopefully they’re at least toilet trained so to speak.

I’ve really been thinking about this lately and I don’t think the problem is the short supply of men around 34 but where they are in their life. From my experience men around this age, if single, have often come out of or have been in a long-term relationship, whether it be married or de facto. If they are separated or divorced the last thing they want to do is get back in that type of relationship. Lets be serious if they can go out have fun with the boys, have one night stands and just enjoy the good life like a 20 year old, why would they want a girlfriend? Whereas the younger 20 to 29-year-old seem to like the older woman, and are far more interested in dating seriously. I asked a guy who is dating my girlfriend, (there is 12 years difference) why he is interested in being with someone so much older. For him part of the reason was that she was independent, confident about her looks and personality and wasn’t worried about what other people thought. Who knows if this will be long term but for the moment I say go for it, because apparently older women dating younger men is in and acceptable. Also, because we are in a man drought we might just have to ignore age gaps and enjoy life and dating for what it is. Kate Cebrano sang it well, “Young boys are my weakness”.

Posted in Age, In the News on September 4th, 2008 by Blog Admin | | 0 Comments

For One Night Only

I think Sex and the City made women everywhere realise it was ok to have one night stands. It didn’t make you easy, cheap or a slut. If men can do it why can’t we!My first encounter with a ONS was with a guy I met at a club, yes the same over 30’s one I’ve mentioned before. He was about my age, kind of cute and was paying me a lot of attention. Anyway after lots of talking, dancing and drinking one thing led to another and we were out in his car necking. Is that what you call it at my age? Or is it pashing on, getting on to each other or just plain kissing. Either way, it was fun and kind of funny, made me feel like a naughty schoolgirl. We ended back at his mate’s house, where I assumed he was staying, and basically got straight down to it. We were both very nervous, so it was very quick and not at all romantic. It was no sooner over and we were back in his car with him dropping me home so fast I thought I’d imagined the whole thing! He said he had a great time but had to get to work, this being odd as it was 3am Sunday morning but who was I to complain. I realised he didn’t ask for my number, “oh no had he forgotten, how would I find him again?”. Pretty soon the brain caught on; I had just had my first one night stand. Did I feel bad ? Dirty ? Oh no I was proud as punch.

People always tell me a ONS is not a place to start a relationship, why not I say.I have a girlfriend whose ONS never left and they are happily married and just had a baby. On the other hand another girlfriend slept with a guy once who then rang continually and didn’t take the hint it was for one night only. He said he felt used, welcome to our world!The problem with a one nighter is it usually involves too much alcohol and bad sloppy sex. Lots of fumbling, near misses and rarely satisfaction. If you manage to get a condom on the right way your doing well! Too much alcohol for a man can mean two things: they either have trouble getting it up or finishing the job. I’m not sure which is worse. Best to let them sleep it off but by then you wake up and take a good look at who is in your bed and find any excuse to get rid of them. Oh yes, women can be cruel and heartless too gentlemen! Why is it that men who have regular ONS are still referred to as studs and congratulated by their mates on their top form? When women are looked on as cheap and easy. We are after all only human and enjoy sex as much as a man. They say when women hit their 30’s they are in their prime. I totally agree, it’s something to do with hormones, but also I think after you hit 30 you feel a little more confident about yourself. It’s like, now I’m a real woman, I know exactly what I want and I’m not afraid to ask for it. Definitely no more faking orgasms, if they can’t do it for me then I’m not pretending. Otherwise they think there’s no room for improvement.

Ask any man how many women he’s slept with and they will proudly give you a number. A friend of mine asked her new boyfriend how many women he’s been with, he wasn’t sure but guessed at least 100! His friends all admitted to a similar number of conquests. Of course when asked the same question, she lied. Didn’t want to sound cheap. I mean really once you count past your fingers it doesn’t matter it’s all experience. And one of those fingers or toes may turn out to be the one.

Posted in Sex and naughty stuff on March 11th, 2008 by Blog Admin | | 2 Comments

The Age Factor

Have you ever been called a MILF? I have and I had no idea what it referred to; I do now after asking a friend, it’s a mother (mum) I’d like to… and we all know what the F stands for.

This is supposed to be a compliment, I think, the problem being I don’t have any kid’s. This was bestowed on me by a group of younger male friends who thought I was old enough to be their mother at 31! Their ages ranging from 25 to 27 made this impossible, but that didn’t seem to enter into their schoolboy minds.

This does bring up the topic of age differences in relationships. I recently went on a Hen’s night in the city, and somehow ended my night pashing a young spunky lad, who still had cute freckles and that young innocence about him. Turns out he was 19, and he didn’t believe me when I told him how I old I was, or he was feigning shock. I choose to believe that with the lights dimmed I could pass for 20 something! I think men find it a challenge to date or pick up older women, I’m noticing even the clubs for over 30’s are being inundated with the younger generation. Sure it’s great for my self-esteem to have a younger man attracted to me and telling me I don’t look that old. They can be fun, energetic but also a bit inexperienced; maybe they want to be taught a thing or two.

A pro for the older guys is life experience, maybe they do have a little baggage but we all have that later in life, and it’s called our past. But do they want to have children? If they have some already do they want more? A friend of mine was seeing an older guy in his 40’s for a while but it ended when he couldn’t commit to having more children. Plenty of women seem to date guys a lot older than them; the thought of kissing someone old enough to be my dad makes me squirm a little. But I guess it’s for security and the fact that they hopefully, have a stable life.

Younger sounds fun, your friends think its great you have a toy boy, but what happens when you realise that he still is a boy. A friend once took a guy home that was young enough to be her son, and found him trying to wee in her cupboard that he’d mistaken for the bathroom. I was with a guy who on seeing the sign above my bed that says, “imagine,” asked very seriously who Imagine was! Young and not really that bright. The last guy I went out with briefly, had to text his mum where he was and couldn’t stay over; he went home one night at 3am because she would be wondering where he was; He was 29! Needless to say that didn’t go anywhere. Another guy I went out with for 2 weeks used me as a surrogate mum, he never had money so the few dates we had, I paid. One night he came over and we had pizza, which I paid for and watched, ” The Goonies” on DVD. Now that’s romance!

So the jury is still out on the age factor, I guess when I meet the right one it won’t matter how old or young he is, as long as he can keep up with me.

Posted in Age on March 7th, 2008 by Blog Admin | | 0 Comments

A Little About Me

Whilst no glamour I look after myself, trying to exercise regularly, keeping up a punishing daily beauty routine. I don’t remember caring about this till I hit 30 and started to notice the lines creeping in around my eyes. Frown lines, laughter lines, no just wrinkles. The oil of Olay just doesn’t cut it anymore. Now there’s the whole cleanse, tone, moisturize and lets not forget the exfoliating, apparently twice a week for optimum results. I think I am now missing few layers of skin off my face. Then we have the hair removal ritual that once started cannot be stopped. Before 30 to me the world Brazilian referred to a great soccer team and a country I assumed was in South America somewhere. Now pain and obsession come to mind. All in the name of vanity!Beauty aside I have a great job very secure and one I enjoy. I have a great apartment, lots of good friends and family close by. A great life just maybe missing that someone to share it with. Ok so now I walk around singing ” I don’t need a man to make me happy”, thanks to the Sugarbabes whom I’m sure have no trouble getting a man. I like single life but deep down I think I miss having a guy around. It really started when I turned 30!

Having been in a long term relationship for most of my 20’s and enjoying a couple of years as a single independent woman, I decided it was time to get serious and find myself a boyfriend. Although at my age I think there referred to as partner”.

Now 3 and a bit years later I realize I’m still single. Where did the time go? I can hear the faint tic of my internal body clock, and unfortunately there is no dim switch.

So I find myself with many stories to tell. My girlfriends seem to get great amusement out of hearing about my tragic dates and weekend hook ups. I decided to write them down and share them with other women looking for love or who have been there and are lucky enough to have caught one.

Till next time happy dating….

Posted in Life on February 5th, 2008 by Blog Admin | | 2 Comments