Summer Loving

Summer is nearly here, it’s the season of fun, joy and for some, romance. The warm nights, longer days, and holiday season seem to give you more energy and make you want to enjoy the outdoors a little more. For those single ladies or couples in relationships, it’s a time to spice up your love life. I’ve come up with my top ten ideas for summer loving, a list of dating ideas which will bring a bit or romance or sexiness (if you need it) back into your lives without breaking the budget. Obviously for some a babysitter is required, but don’t use kids as an excuse to let your love live fizzle instead of sizzle. Book in that weekend with the grandparents and get creative.

Here’s my Top 5 Summer Dates:

1) Twilight Picnic- Dusk setting in, a bottle of bubbly, picnic rug by the water, a basket full of scrumptious food. Can it get any better? Candles would add to the romance but don’t forget the aeroguard to scare away the mozzies, otherwise it might turn into a disaster with you covered in ugly red bites and scratching away all night!

2) Afternoon Beach Stroll- Holding hands, breeze in your hair, water lapping at you feet. What a great time to enjoy a walk, catch up on what’s been happening or for those singles, a time of getting to know each other, whilst swishing along in your gorgeous summer dress. Finish with an ice-cream or maybe you might end up in an embrace ala Deborah Kerr & Burt Lancaster in “From Here to Eternity”. A little sandy but oh so romantic.

3) Twilight Movies- speaking of movies, I think most cities do something along these lines, I know in Sydney they screen at Centennial Park where you can take a rug, a picnic, nice bottle of wine and snuggle up under the stars watching an old romantic classic. You can even hire beanbags which would make it fun on a first date. Although maybe a little noisy, all those beans moving around I mean.

4) Wash the Cars- Ok, now your wondering how this is a good date? Nothing like spicing things up with a bit of soap suds and water. Suggest washing the car, wear your sexiest bikini or see through top, then all you need is bubbles a really bad aim (opps, look at me all wet) and it could lead to an afternoon delight. Perhaps a shower to rinse each other off. I suggest a gentle spray with the hose, to avoid any injuries.

5) Shopping- This ones for the gents, there is no better way to pamper a woman than to take her shopping, and to pretend like your loving every minute of it. Troll the local markets, do the garage sale circuit. Surprise her along the way with little secret purchases or encouraging her to try on sexy new outfits. It can be fun, its time spent bonding, making her happy (I know it works for me hint hint). For the newly dating it lets you get to know a lot about the other person, their taste, likes, dislikes, and what sort of junk they like to collect! And the yummy corn on the cob (usually found at the markets) with butter melting down your chin could be kind of cute.

I think that’s a good start, plenty of inspiration to help with your romance this summer. I know some of you are thinking, “yeah right as if we have time for this”. Well make time; you’ll be surprised how much you enjoy yourself. Let me know if any of you become adventurous, Id love to hear any other summer dating ideas.

Happy Summer Lovin!

Posted in Dating, Love and Relationships on November 13th, 2010 by Blog Admin | | 0 Comments

I Do

Somehow I managed to become the relationships columnist on this fantastic website Connect 2 Mums. I am certainly no expert on the subject but definitely not lacking experience. I also write a blog based on dating, life, women’s issues and basically, men. Someone asked me what I would write about once I was in a relationship. Are they kidding? It only gets better; I now have my own guinea pig at home providing me with plenty of material. Now I also find myself in a very different situation…..Married! Let the fun begin.

We decided to get married a little unconventionally, we eloped. We are both in our 30’s (me maybe a little older, the cougar as some might say), and I, having been previously married in my 20’s, did not want a big fuss or expensive wedding. As you may have read in previous posts we had decided we wanted to start a family. So getting married was not high on our agenda. I am lucky enough to have the best job in the world as a Nanny for a family in Eastern Sydney. I have been there for almost 4 years and I’m treated like part of the family. I often travel with them and recently the opportunity came up to go to Dunk Island off the coast of North Queensland for a short break.  My boyfriend was asked along too, not only did we get a free holiday but practise at being parents (I thought that would be interesting).

From the beginning of our relationship we talked about eloping. This trip seemed like the perfect opportunity. With the help of my boss and the Wedding Co coordinator (so fancy, I know) on Dunk we managed to get it all organised in under a month. That was the easy bit, Oh my god what was I going to wear?? Of course that was the first thought I had! I didn’t care what colour chair sashes to have or whether to have Balinese flags on the beach. I had 3 weeks and counting to find a Beach wedding dress. Of course it had to be off the rack as I didn’t have enough time to make or order one. I was allowed (by my thoughtful fiancé) to tell one girlfriend, who could help me shop for all my bridal apparel. Thank god, she helped me search through 3 Westfields, Paddington boutiques in Sydney and local dress shops. Would you believe after all that my fiancé ended up finding the dress! He saw it on a rack in Charlie Brown at DFO and pointed it out. I quickly shooed him out of the store so I could try it on. I didn’t want to totally ruin the surprise! I loved it, it fit like a glove and even better was on sale.

Who would have thought the man could be more painful when It came to choosing Wedding attire. From the start he knew exactly what he wanted, it had to be the exact shade of grey he liked with pinstripes. Talk about fussy. This is when I realised how stubborn he could be and was getting ready to divorce him before we ere even married. I thought every suit he tried on looked great, but no, it wasn’t the right colour or the right fit! Arhhhh, Lucky just when we were about to give up I stumbled across the perfect suit (I prayed). Thank god he liked it and we were now almost organised for the big day.

Next we found our rings. Now I was the fussy one, I knew exactly what I wanted and was thinking of having it made. Luck was on our side and I saw the exact ring in a Jeweller and it was on sale! Couldn’t get any better. Because we decided to keep the Wedding a surprise, the rings got hidden away. But my man being the romantic that he is, proposed on my birthday. He got down on one knee (after insisting I get in a bubble bath with a glass of wine) and asked me to officially marry him. Lucky for him he knew I wouldn’t say no. Now all we had to do was keep our mouths shut and keep busy for 3 weeks.

You don’t realise how hard it is to keep a secret until you have a huge one to keep. We both nearly tripped up but in the end were relieved to be on the plane heading North, secret intact. We had a couple of days on Dunk to settle in, looking after the kids kept us busy until finally the day arrived. I felt very calm and relaxed. I had my hair and makeup artists come to my room to make me look like a bride. By 3pm I was dressed and ready to marry my soul mate. We got married under a canopy of trees on the beach. Our guest’s consisted of my bosses and their 3 kids who acted as attendants. I was walked down the aisle by my gorgeous 2 year old charge that I’ve looked after since he was born. He was briefly distracted mid way by a lizard and the throwing of flower petals but eventually I joined my groom ready for the service to begin. We chose a very simple ceremony and each wrote our own vows. This is so much more personal and thoughtful, and of course we both nearly cried the whole way through. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day or spot to get married. It was romantic, intimate and so special, the perfect way to start a marriage.

Of course that was just the beginning, now we had to tell our families our big news. We were more nervous about that than actually getting married. We had a romantic dinner for 2 that night on the beach, watching the sun go down. At the end of the meal we rang our families and broke the news, to both shock and excitement. We had already planned a cocktail reception for when we got back so they didn’t feel like they totally missed out on sharing our day. Some of our family was disappointed they weren’t there but as we said to them this is what we wanted and at the end of the day that’s what it comes down to.

So many people congratulated us on eloping and wished they had done the same thing. Weddings can be stressful, expensive and cause huge family dramas! We don’t regret for a minute eloping and recommend it to anyone (whose game enough) thinking about sneaking off into the sunset to get married.

Posted in Family and Relationships, Love and Relationships on October 21st, 2010 by Blog Admin | | 1 Comments

Father’s (to be) Day

It’s Fathers Day this month which I have loved since I was a little girl, especially because I’m a bit of a Daddy’s girl. My partner and I do not have children yet but have begun the process of TTC. Most of you Mum’s will know this stands for “trying to conceive”, my poor b/f thought it was the name of a band. It made me think about what the man has to put up with during the process (a lot of raging hormones as you heard about in my last post) of becoming a father.

At first I thought the man had it easy, he gets to have fun TTC, in fact sometimes 5 days in a row when I’m sure he thinks all his Christmases have come at once. If it gets to the point where I’m ringing him to come home NOW because I’m ovulating I’m sure the excitement will wear off. The whole ovulation process itself confuses and overwhelms him, he prefers me to tell him when I need a “deposit”. Romantic I know but you don’t want to waste those precious few days. It has also become a regular joke anytime I say something out of the ordinary, for instance “honey I feel like Olives”, his response “it must be cause your ovulating”. This was funny the first time, to us anyway.

I bought a fabulous book “What to expect before you’re expecting”, by Heidi Murkoff. It has become my bible, full of great information for us older first time Mum’s and Dad’s. I have tried to get my partner to participate in book readings, but of course he has super sperm and doesn’t need to read a book to get me pregnant. Mmmm, I have had to remind him super sperm is not going to help unless there is an egg there to be fertilised. Of course this then lead to a discussion about ovulating (that O word again), and how my cycle works. Although, I could tell half way through he was definitely not hearing my voice, his mind had wandered to more important things like the current surf conditions. I knew my little pep talk didn’t help when every time I complain about feeling sick or having an ache, he asks if I’m pregnant.

Gee am I making him sound horrid? He is actually very supportive and keen for baby making. He often asks me how my cervical mucus is going; I have explained this phenomenon to him (so he does pay attention!) He quite happily does breast checks just in case he notices any changes I don’t. Runs me baths and gives back rubs when that time of month comes around. And he puts up with my Exorcist type hormonal mood swings. He listens to me rant, especially when people tell me to relax and it will happen sooner rather than later, arrrgggh!! Relaxing, that’s exactly what I’m doing after a baby making session, lying with my legs in the air!

With all this in mind, I hope my partner is looking forward to becoming a Dad. If he is anything like my Dad, he will make a fantastic father. And if he gets through pre- conception, pregnancy will be a breeze…. Hopefully!

Posted in Family and Relationships, Women's Issues on September 13th, 2010 by Blog Admin | | 0 Comments

The Hormone Strikes Back

Not long ago, my partner and I were discussing what to make for dinner. I suggested Spaghetti, no he didn’t feel like that. To which I replied “well if your not happy, make your own then”. Rather dramatic and so out of line. Did I mention I just stopped taking the pill after 16 years? Although you still get a little P.M.T. on the pill, I forgot about all the lovely monthly symptoms we (I mean myself AND my partner) have to deal with.

There are good and bad times when coming off the pill. The good is feeling like you’re getting your body back, almost cleansing it. And if you’re like me, and preparing it for something life changing and exciting, a baby, you tell yourself it will be worth it in the end. The bad, I think giving up that hormone controlling friend has unleashed a wild rabid beast. My moods change dramatically, and I find myself getting cranky and snapping at the smallest thing (like anything my b/f does). I work with children and after a raving 5 minute lecture on who knows what, I had the 4 year old telling me, “it’s not that bad, you just need to be more calm.” Well if a 4 year old is telling me to calm down it must be bad.  

Some of the up sides include the return of your libido. I think I remember having that. If I knew stopping the pill would turn me into a sex crazed nympho (maybe not quite but definitely an improvement) then I would have gone off it sooner. Of course there is the down side of having to use condoms if you don’t want to hear the pitter patter of little feet just yet. I forgot how annoying and rubbery theses things are, but at least you can make the man in charge of buying them, after all its their turn after all the years of paying for and taking a pill everyday. You can of course try the withdrawal method. It does take precision timing and co ordination and as I was once told, a man always dribbles before he shoots. Enough said.

Another down side was waking up one day to look in the mirror and notice a pimple the size of Mount Everest on my chin. I rarely get pimples and haven’t seen one that big since I was a hormonal fuelled 16 year old. One good thing, my b/f said it made me look younger (that was the right thing to say). Again the always complimentary 4 year old told me I had a “big sore on my face”. The cravings for anything sugary doesn’t help this either. I found myself scoffing marshmallows by the dozen (and this was just a sneaky peak before dessert) and blaming it on my b/f, gee they do get the raw end of the deal don’t they? Although one thing he is enjoying is my ever swelling breasts. Come ovulation time and my nipples look like a flying saucer has landed on them, well they certainly feel that big. The problem is he can look but not touch. Any attempt to touch is met with a ferocious response. They do get so sore, even looking at them hurts. Maybe around that time I should hang a Do Not Disturb sign around my neck.

Ok, so far there seems to be a lot of negative sides to claiming my body back. But in the end it has to be better for my health, maybe not my sanity (or my boyfriend’s). Once the hormone shift has settled I may feel human again. I know I’m complaining already and I just went off the pill, wait till you’re pregnant I hear you all say. Well, you will all definitely be hearing about that journey when it happens!

Coming up next article, “Preparing for Pregnancy”. Now that should be interesting.

Posted in Life, Women's Issues on August 8th, 2010 by Blog Admin | | 1 Comments

School Holiday Fun

I write for an online magazine Connect2mums and here is my latest article, a little different to my usual.

Aren’t school holidays fun. Firstly you have to think of something to entertain the kid’s everyday, which usually sends you broke. Then put up with standing in extra long queue’s to get into any child friendly activity or place. Most parents are counting down the days till school goes back. Ok, I’m not a parent yet so what does this all have to do with me? I’m a fulltime Nanny, my job is looking after 3 children, 5 days a week. Yes I may get paid to do this but I also put up with all the same things parents do. And, I find school holidays hectic, chaotic and very exhausting.

So far in my first week of holidays I have experienced a few occasions which warrant writing about. Ill start with the times I wished it was time to go back to school. We decided to take a trip on the train with my sister and her kids to a Disney on Ice show, oh what fun. Miss four year old was very excited as I think she had only experienced the train a few times. We were enjoying the scenery when my nephew sneezed. What is so bad about that you ask? Well Miss four year old has a very weak stomach, and on seeing a tiny bit of snot coming out of his nose started heaving. Having dealt with this before I was ready, by the time she started vomiting I was in front of her catching it in my hands, to the amusement and disgust of all the other passengers. Well what did they want me to do, let her vomit all over the floor and seat? I calmly put the vomit in a plastic bag, cleaned her up with wipes and we were on our way. At least the show we went to see was tolerable!

Sometimes while I’m working hard, on my way to fun indoor playlands full of sugar fuelled screaming kids, I fit in a bit of shopping. Miss 4 year old does encourage me, she is always picking things out for me to try on and I can’t say no. On this particular day the sales were on (how cunning to time with school holidays). I had a few pairs of jeans to try on so we crowded into a change room with pram and all (nearly 2 year old with us too). As I’ve stripped down to my under wear Miss 4 year old says in her loudest voice, “Mel, your legs are so fat and wobbly”. I thanked her for pointing that out and asked her to keep her voice down, but inside I was cringing. But she wasn’t finished, “when you move they wobble”, followed by fits of giggles, and of course the younger one joins in, finding laughing catching. At this point I was over the jeans and whilst dressing, tried to explain how it’s not nice to say things to someone that may hurt their feelings, but knowing she was just being honest as children are. I don’t know how many times I’ve been asked why my boobies are big or why there is a red mark on my face (that damn pimple, only a child could point it out). Oh well, at least something positive came of it. I jumped back on the treadmill!

One of my favourite times this week was when Miss 4 year old decided to throw a tantrum. And I’m not talking about your garden variety tantrum. No it was the tantrum that would win an Oscar, an award winning performance, and I can’t even remember what started it. Usually not much when you’re 4. Anyway at first it was crying and saying no, then she was screaming like a banshee. I was expecting her head to start spinning and vomit to start flying out of her mouth. In the end she was hysterical and got sent to her room to calm down. She fell asleep, obviously tantrum throwing is exhausting stuff, and woke up like nothing had even happened. It’s not the first and certainly won’t be the last. Especially since now Mr 2 year old has hit the prime tantrum throwing age as well.

I’m sure there are more stories to come, one week down, one to go. Don’t get me wrong, there are also lots of enjoyable occasions, but of course the memorable ones are remembered for a reason.

Posted in Family and Relationships, Life on July 18th, 2010 by Blog Admin | | 0 Comments

Winter Wonders

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire:  it is the time for home.  ~Edith Sitwell

 I don’t like winter! I don’t like being cold or wet, it makes me wish I was a bear so I can hibernate all winter long. Although not eating for that long may just kill me. My partner has similar views so we make a great (but grumpy pair). Now winter has started and has quite a while to go, I needed to remind myself of all the good things to keep me going. And get me out of bed in the morning! So here’s a list of my 5 favourite winter pastimes to do at home.

1. Snuggling together with your partner under a great big soft doona and even better if you have an electric blanket. Although my boyfriend wasn’t impressed with my flannelette winter pyjamas. I’m not sure why, I  thought love hearts and teddy bears were kind of cute.

2. Keeping it in the bedroom, I must admit sex is so much better during the colder months. Not having to make love on a hot day where you end up suctioned together with sweat. It’s so much nicer to feel soft skin, although I don’t think my b/f appreciates my hairy unshaven legs.

3. Hot bubble baths, especially when my b/f runs it for me when I get home from work (even better when given a glass of wine, hint, hint). Long hot showers, even better when it’s a shower for two and you don’t end up passing out from the extra heat.

4. Slow cookers. The best thing I ever purchased. What I love is that it is so easy to use. I can leave everything out in the morning get my b/f to throw it all in and cook for me. Dinner cooked to go with that bubble bath. I sound spoilt, don’t I?

5. Watching romantic movies curled up on the lounge with a big bowl of popcorn. I’m working on the romantic movie bit, but I am just happy to be inside with my favourite blanket keeping me warm.

 Ok, that wasn’t as hard as I thought, but I did only keep it to things to do at home. I’m off to have my bubble bath, then heading to my warm bed to read my book. And who knows what else….

Posted in Life, Love and Relationships on June 10th, 2010 by Blog Admin | | 0 Comments

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