Mum’s The Word
Motherhood has always been a great desire of mine. I can’t remember a time I didn’t want to have children. I grew up surrounding myself with children, I chose a career in childcare, and my life wouldn’t be fulfilled if I didn’t have any of my own. I haven’t had any as of yet, mainly due to circumstances within my life. But now that I am in a serious relationship it is something my partner and I have talked about and are hoping to do in the near future. Actually saying it out loud, even putting it to paper suddenly makes it real and scary.
I’ve been in childcare for around 18 years, the last 10 spent nannying for various families. This doesn’t make me an expert on children, but I’d like to think it gives me a head start. After all I have had my current charge since he was born 2 years ago, so he feels like mine only I get to go home at night. I still get to experience the ups and downs of raising children. The erratic sleeping patterns, the sometimes stressful times when the child is ill (I got used to being frequently covered in vomit or poo), tantrums, and the times they make you feel overwhelmed with happiness. Future motherhood has got me asking myself, will I be a good mother? Do I have what it takes to raise a child in today’s world? It made me think about my own values, morals and how I’d like to bring up a child. Of course I realized so much of this I learnt from my own parents, and my upbringing.
One thing I realised is I want to be around to see my children grow up. Whilst we were growing up and still in school I always remember my Mum being home. When I got home from school she was always there and if she worked it was at night and my Dad stayed home. I saw so many of my friends whose mums worked full time and hardly got to spend quality time with them. Looking back now I appreciate it, we may have had to do without the latest gadgets, toys and clothes because we were on a budget, but we always had our Mum. Although I know it’s hard these days to afford a parent to stay home, I hope to spend as much time as possible with my children. If it means missing out on extravagances I don’t care, it’s far more important to see your child grow up than take an overseas trip. I know my parents missed out on a lot of things but they are doing it all now we are grown up.
My mum grew up in a strict household, her father having been a WW2 veteran was a very hard man. Although sometimes she was tough on us I now appreciate it, having grown up a very responsible adult (well most of the time). At work I can see my mum in the way I discipline the children. I am very big on manners, we were always taught to speak when spoken to, even just to say hello. Say please and thank you, little things I know, but people notice a well mannered child. I even make the 2 year old sit at the table whilst his sister is finishing her dinner. We ate as a family every night and you didn’t leave the table till you were all finished. This is time to sit and talk about your day, have a laugh and chill for 15 minutes!
My mum was pregnant and married at 18. Gee I didn’t even have sex till I was 19, so I obviously learnt from her mistakes (ok, I love my brother but he was unexpected)! I think that’s why she was strict, I had curfews, wasn’t always allowed to go to party’s underage etc. But once I turned 18 I had my freedom to do as I pleased. Still I told mum what I was doing, my siblings say I was the golden child, but really I just showed mum the respect she deserved. I wanted to finish school, study and have a good career. Marriage and motherhood were definitely on my agenda for later in life. I hope I can instill some of these values in my children. I want them to feel like they can talk to me, be honest and hopefully I will set a good example for them.
Your relationship with your mum changes over time. I feel like she is my friend as well as my mum. I’m sure when you have children it changes again. I see the love and devotion she gives to her grandchildren and can’t wait to share that with my own. The most important thing my mum taught me is love and support. I went through the trauma of suddenly losing my husband 8 years ago. The first thing I did was go home to where it was familiar, comfortable and secure. My parents supported me financially by giving me a home till I got sorted. But mostly emotionally, they also lost a son in law but never wavered in their love and support for me. I remember waking from a bad dream one night and hopping in bed with mum like when I was little. I just needed the closeness and comfort. How easy that is to give. I think that experience taught me what is important in life and why your relationship with your mum is so important and shapes the person you will end up being.
I could go on and on and on. I hope you are all lucky enough to have a mum like mine. I truly hope I will be a good mother; I have no doubt if I use what I learnt, I will do just fine.
Happy Mothers Day
Posted in Family and Relationships, Women's Issues on May 9th, 2010 by Blog Admin | | 0 Comments
