L.O.V.E
I have been dating a guy for 5 months, and I’m quite surprised at the amount of people asking if he has said the L word yet. Yep those three scary words, I love you. I just thought we would say it when the time is right. But I guess it is a big deal when you are in a new relationship. Waiting and wondering who says it first? Look at all the songs that have been written about it, “All you need is love, Love is a many Splendored thing, I was made for loving you baby, I will always love you”. The list goes on. Apparently love makes the world go round, but what exactly is love.
Dictionary.com defines love as 1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. 2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. 3. sexual passion or desire. But love can be so many things and it changes and grows over time. How do you know if it’s love? To me, love is such a hard thing to describe in words, as it not only involves feelings, but actions, looks and words. You can easily say I love you but do you really mean it. A male friend once asked me, how do you know when you’re in love with someone? This is a hard question to answer, as we all fall in love differently some quicker and more often than others. Just look at Brad Pitt, he had found the love of his life in Jennifer Anniston, well until Angelina came along. Turns out that SHE is the love of his life! Seriously though, my answer would be, you just know. You know by the overwhelming and happy feelings you get when you think of them or see them, by the excitement you feel when you’re around them. When the thought of losing them would crush you, and you know your life wouldn’t be complete without them in it. It’s in the way they look at you, that tingly feeling you get when they call you. How they care and stand by you through all types of highs and lows. I could have gone on but I think he got the idea. Its so many small things that make you love someone or be in love.
In a group discussion on a website I write for, which is called connect2mums, the question was asked, is there a difference between loving someone and being in love? Peace, one of the editors replied “I think love can be like a jumper sometimes. I bought a really cool knitted cream jumper once. I was all alone living in Ireland. It was beautiful when it was new, and I loved it for its newness, and because it looked great with my jeans. But as it aged I loved it more, but in a different way… I loved it for the memories, for our story together, for its warmth and I loved it for its familiarity even though by then it was completely misshapen and more grey than cream. With time it meant more to me than it had when it was brand new… Maybe love is like that too?” I couldn’t have put it better myself. Love isn’t always the same, it changes over time but it is always still there if you are truly in love.
Of course love that you have for a partner is different than what you have for family and friends. Especially because intimacy is involved, and this only makes a love stronger by having an intense physical attraction. A lot of people confuse lust with love but somewhere along the line these feelings often blend. Desiring someone and sharing passionate and intimate moments when you’re in love is different to when you’re in a casual fling. When there is emotion involved as well it is much more powerful and fulfilling. Gee I sound like such an expert! I have been in love once and I can only share my thoughts and feelings. But there is not one word that can sum it up. A friend of mine used to ask me after a date with a new man, if he made my heart smile? Corny but a good way to describe how he made me feel. Well my heart is definitely smiling now. And when the time comes to say the L word it won’t be planned or thought out, it will be natural, and that is when it’s the right time.
I’ll finish with a favourite quote, from one of my favourite people, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City. She is breaking up with someone, because she doesn’t want to settle for him when she knows it’s not real love. “I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t live without each other love.” It may not be perfect but when you have it, it doesn’t matter.
Posted in Love and Relationships on January 17th, 2010 by Blog Admin | | 1 Comments
on January 28th, 2010 at 4:33 am
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