I’ll Have What She’s Having…
Hi all, I wrote the following post as a guest piece, on another site. Please go check it out, another informative and fantastic blog. Momfamilychild
According to most statistics, only 30% of women will achieve orgasm during intercourse. Now I’m talking penile- vaginal intercourse alone. What a relief I thought I was the only one who needed more than a little help to achieve the big O. I decided to research the female orgasm for this blog entry, wow, there are a lot of hits for this one and boy did I learn a lot. Let me give you an overview to achieving an orgasm, men should read this too, you might learn something.
Firstly both men and women need to understand female genitalia, I myself had to look up how to spell that! Knowing where to find a vagina is a start, don’t laugh remember all the teenage movies where the young male is feeling around “down there” in search of the girly bits. Well, it’s real, some boys, and men don’t know and just feel around in that general vicinity hoping to strike gold. Simply knowing there’s a clitoris is useless if you don’t know why it’s there and what it does. According to Laura Bernman PhD, ” the holy grail of female sexual pleasure is the clitoris.” Because it is the size of a small pea and known to help turn us women on, I find men tend to be a little heavy handed. No, it’s not a button you just press and it’s all over, it is a very supersensitive area which I think is better stimulated indirectly and I’m definitely not scared to tell a man this.
As women we can have three types of orgasms, clitoris, G-spot and cervical. No worries with the clitoris side of things, but the elusive G-spot. Apparently this hot spot leads to “intense orgasms”, probably helps if you can find it first. I do remember going in search of this so called G-spot with an ex- boyfriend, after a while he asked if I came with a manual. Gee, that really took the fun out of it. I had to remind him I wasn’t a piece of furniture from Ikea, if he needed step by step instructions then he was best to look it up and get back to me. Note I did say ex-boyfriend! Seriously for many women I think you need all 3 areas stimulated to achieve orgasm, well at least 70% of us.
Now of course there are other contributing factors to whether or not you can achieve the big O. One of those factors is alcohol, too much may give you confidence but we all have experienced the down side of one to many. My girlfriend and I often discuss our sex lives and agree when we drink that it’s harder to orgasm. I’m not sure if men are aware of this but we have trouble “getting it up” too. Not literally of course but it definately numbs the senses a little. Alcohol makes you less inhibited maybe even a little daring but can make for long, sloppy and unfinished sex. Definitely no big O for either party.
Another factor is positions. Not all positions lead to orgasms. Men seem to think we turn into gymnasts when having sex, especially when plied with alcohol. Prince wasn’t lying when he sang,” gett off, 23 positions in a one night stand.” Yes, you may be great showing your knowledge of the Kama Sutra positions but really, having my legs up around my neck for 30 minutes is not necessarily going to achieve anything. Although sometimes I’m quiet proud of the fact that my legs can even get passed my waist. Women on top is well loved for a reason, it allows all the right areas to be stimulated that achieve orgasms. I also feel like I’m in charge a bit more, I am a Virgo after all.
Next, I think being in a secure relationship you feel more confident and relaxed, you get to know each others bodies and you’re not afraid to ask questions and direct them in the right direction. I’ve also talked about age before, for me it’s definitely a contributing factor to enjoying sex more. In my 30’s I enjoy sex more, and I’m more confident. I’m not afraid to ask for what I want, and not so worried about how big my butt looks in the mirror or if my boobs look droopy when Im on top. I’ve learnt if men are having sex they don’t care.
Ok, what about faking it a la Meg Ryan in the famous restaurant scene in “When Harry Met Sally”. I don’t believe in faking it, if it’s not happening why pretend, then they will never learn anything. My friend say’s she feels bad and doesn’t want to make her boyfriend think he is inadequate. Remember, (let him know this) all the above factors and the percentage of women who orgasm every time through intercourse alone is only 30%. They will get over it. There is so need to fake, best to just relax and enjoy.
Gee, I don’t think I’ve ever used the word vagina, clitoris and orgasm so much in one story. But I hope you learnt something or at least had a laugh. And when I do finally find this so called G-spot you’ll be the first to know.
Posted in Sex and naughty stuff on February 27th, 2009 by Blog Admin | | 1 Comments
Online Interview
I was recently interviewed by former Mix 106 FM radio executive producer Brenden Wood for his website, “Is it possible to make money online?”. Follow the link below to listen to the discussion about how my blog came about, where I get my content, and answers to many questions you may have yourself. And a picture of me, so now I’m not so anonymous!
Posted in Media on February 17th, 2009 by Blog Admin | | 2 Comments
Lonely Valentine
It’s that time of year again, the dreaded day for singles, V Day, that is Valentines Day. It’s supposed to be a day of expressing your love to your partner, not that it should be one token day, but most women can’t deny it feels good to be spoilt on V Day. But what about the singles? It can be depressing, especially walking around the shopping centres which have been diplaying over the top, tacky Valentine paraphernalia since just after Christmas. “The three black days for many single people are Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and for some people, their birthday.” Says relationship expert Toby Green. As much as I don’t want to sound like a whinger, or unhappy single I will admit being alone on these days can be hard.
Maybe my memories of previous Valentine’s days haven’t helped. Ok, I’ll admit last year I got a card, it doesn’t matter that it was from my 4 year old nephew telling me that he wanted to be my Valentine. So cute but slightly depressing as I had to accept, it was the only offer I got! Another year my boyfriend decided he’d buy me a present the day after, declaring as many men do that you shouldn’t need a special day to show someone you love them. Such a cop out, the real reason was that the really ugly stuffed toy he bought me was half price the next day. I also love the excuse, “I forgot”. How can you forget when it’s plastered on every billboard, advertising space and shopping catalogue known to man. Also the fact that it falls on the same date every year, February 14th. Men put it in your diary.
Of course it’s the most popular day for marriage proposals. I would be mortified if my partner decided to propose Valentines day. So unoriginal, especially the whole ring in the champagne. I could see myself swallowing it and ending up in casualty or choking to death; not a nice thought. Or receiving a present I never really wanted like a power tool or worse a kitchen appliance. Wait, what about a signed football jersey from his favourite team, now that would end in tears and maybe a missing limb. Just stick with flowers and chocolate and for the man willing to take risks, sexy lingerie. Although if it’s too small she’ll be angry you don’t know her size, and if it’s too big she’ll be angry at you for thinking she’s fat. Can’t win really so as I said flowers and chocolates.
Now that I think about it, I do sound very bitter and maybe slightly jealous but let me have my whinge! Mark my word, you won’t find me sitting at home feeling sorry for myself. I am woman hear me roar, and I don’t need a man to make me happy, blah blah. I already have a date, I’m going to dinner…… with my parents!
Happy Valentines Day!
Posted in Love and Relationships on February 13th, 2009 by Blog Admin | | 2 Comments
Things You Can Do Now That Your Single.
I recently bought a book “Things to do now that you’re single…again”; full of inspiring quotes, ideas for new activities to do, places to go, ways to spoil yourself. As I looked through, it made me think about what I had done since I’d been single, the last 4 years. What effort had I put in to meeting new people? Especially men, had I challenged myself, or done anything which takes me out of my comfort zone, the one you tend to get in when your single. So I decided to share with you my challenges, triumphs and really lame attempts at trying new things. Well some of them were good while they lasted.
- One of the first things I did in order to meet men was take golf lessons; I figure this is a male dominated sport, so a great way to meet men. My class was made up of retired married women, lovely ladies but obviously they’re there for different reasons. And then I discovered that most men play golf to get away from their partners and wife’s. I also discovered I’m really not very good at golf.
- Two girlfriends and I took a single girl’s holiday to a tropical Island in the north of Australia. We chose what we thought was a singles island only to learn on arrival that it had changed hands and now catered for families. Ok so it was relaxing and we took a romantic sunset cruise just the 3 of us and 6 other couples looking into each other’s eyes all night. Romance! Needless to say we drank far too many champers and had to be carried off the boat. At least we got to see a pod of whales. We also got lost when we decided to circumnavigate the island, and unfortunately there were no big strong male rescuers. We just had to walk for hours in the hot sun, trekking over mountains till we found our way home. Believe me I’m not exaggerating! I hate bushwalking there is nothing serene about it.
- I also took dance lessons twice. The first time the class was full of all women, so it was fun but not great for meeting guys. So I decided to try rock and roll, as it was partner dancing. A male friend of mine wanted to do it too, so we went together. Basically the class was again all couples and everyone thought we were a couple anyway. There goes that idea. Next I’m trying Salsa, alone.I joined a ladies gym, which I attend 3 times a week. Why a ladies gym? I really don’t like the idea of going to gym classes to meet men looking sweaty and disheveled, with every part of my body flopping around for all to see. This wasn’t about meeting men obviously but doing something for myself. It makes me feel better, look better (sometimes), and often takes you away from day to day life even if only for 30 minutes.
- I started a new job, leaving behind a great job but one I felt I’d grown out of. I stayed in the same industry but took a more challenging and rewarding job. I also got a pay rise, which is even better!
- I’ve written a few times about Internet dating, I have tried this twice. It can be very daunting and stressful at times. Especially when your talking to a few guys at once and you get them mixed up. And blind dates, well they never get easier unless you have a bottle or two of wine before you go. But I persevere because one day I might just meet the right one. And it can be amusing at times; did I tell you the one about the guy whose scalp was peeling? Maybe some other time.
- And of course I started my own blog. I had stories to tell, I wanted to share my experiences with others so all the single people knew they weren’t alone. And that it’s not all bad being single. As I wrote this I discovered I had tried new things. Met many new people and enjoyed myself doing so. And I realise I have more to do so I better get cracking.
As Eva Gizowska (author of above book) said, “You don’t know how long you will be single, so make the most of it while you can! This is your chance to grab every opportunity that comes your way and get the life you want”. Whether it involves traveling, getting a new job, or taking golf lessons! There is no one to stop you from pursuing your dreams, so go out and do it, before you fall in love again.
Posted in Dating, Life on February 4th, 2009 by Blog Admin | | 0 Comments
