If Men are from Mars….

If men are from Mars then send them back! Apparently the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, by John Gray, “reveals new strategies for reducing tension in relationships and creating more love by first recognising in great detail how men and women are different.” Different? You think? I don’t need a book to explain that, they are in my book from another planet!

Don’t get me wrong this is a great book, a manual to help understand how men think although it needs to be a lot thicker. There’s my favorite section about men being like rubber bands, “when they pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come springing back.” Your supposed to wait this out and not force them back to the real world. I’m sure many of you can relate to this, I know I can. When your partner becomes distant, quiet and it seems like their pulling away. They prefer to spend time alone on the couch watching the footy instead of with you. But when you ask what’s wrong they say nothing. Or when they are full on at the start of a relationship only to back off all of a sudden and you wonder what you did wrong. Nothing is the answer. This is apparently quite normal for men.I have an ex boyfriend who is the perfect example of the man from Mars, he was like a rubber band all right, only he never sprung back! I knew this guy for a while we hooked up occasionally but it was always a casual thing. I liked him from the moment I met him, but it wasn’t until a few years later he actually asked me out. It’s almost when a booty call becomes a relationship, but that could be a whole other topic. I saw him out one night and he decided then and there that the time was right, he had apparently been thinking about me a lot. I wasn’t sure why now as opposed to say the last few years, but who was I to argue with my Chardonnay fueled brain that was jumping for joy. It started well, date nights, meeting each others friends, getting to know each other when not clouded by alcohol, although I must say in hindsight this was rare. Even my boss and friends commented it was pretty full on straight away. We even planned a holiday 2 months into the relationship. Then I went away overseas with work for 5 weeks and this is where it took a nosedive. The rubber band started stretching and stretching and I realised when I got home and he wasn’t there to greet me at the airport, it wasn’t coming back in a hurry.

Now the book says to wait it out but seriously I have a life to live, if a man can’t make up his mind whether he wants to be in a relationship or not then I can’t be waiting around. I mean it doesn’t have to be love at first sight, soul mates forever stuff, and sometimes you have to work together to get the relationship off the ground but you should at least want to spend as much time together as possible. If he wants to “be alone” or “just spend time by himself”, and the gap in the amount of time it takes for the rubber band to spring back gets longer, then quoting my other favorite book, “he’s just not that into you.”

It seems my boyfriend wasn’t a rubber band but a slingshot, catapulted away never to be seen again! Oh well, next!

Posted in Dating on May 14th, 2008 by Blog Admin | | 0 Comments

What’s it got to do with Booty??

I guess the booty call has always been around, although there are a few terms to describe it, some not printable. But it can be also known as “friends with benefits”, or a f**k buddy. Basically it’s when two people have sex on a casual basis with no strings attached. I really think its so men can have their cake and eat it too, the best of both worlds you could say. It’s the one who you drunk dial at the end of a night out even if it’s 3am. To me it’s like the “Clayton’s” boyfriend, the one you have when you don’t really have one. But is there an expiry date? When is time to move on?
My first and I think only experience started 3 years ago. I started seeing a guy I met out at a club, we went out for dinner, had a few dates and seemed to get a long really well. We probably saw each other for a couple of weeks, he was charming, sexy and a great lover. It wasn’t until I didn’t hear from him for over a week that I began to question just what was going on. Then I got the call! The 4am call, on a school night too. He was wondering what I was up to, did I want to go around to his for a chat and a drink. At 4 am this was crazy, but wanting to see him off I went. My first mistake. It became a regular occurrence, it was too easy and just seemed to turn into a normal thing. I guess deep down I always hoped for more, that he would see how nice I was and want to date me. Eventually you realise they are happy in that kind of relationship, if you can call it that and while your giving it too them why would they change?
It comes down to the fact that men want sex, and if it can be with the same person with no strings then all the better.  Sometimes you don’t realise you have a ” friend with benefits”. One friend thought she was seeing a guy, they went out, hooked up regularly mostly when it suited him. She even popped in on an early morning walk for a bit of nookie because she happened to be in the area. I even have friends who shared a booty call (not at the same time), when one was sick of him another took over for a bit of fun. She even went around in her lunch break for a bit of stress relief! He obviously did something right. But it’s also the convenience you can be intimate with someone, know everything about them, but not be in a committed relationship.

This situation seems to suit some people, especially men. It can make you feel wanted and good about yourself, and as long as there is respect it can be fun. When jealousy creeps in, and you wonder who else he has been with then it’s time to go. I realised not that long ago that after 3 years of on and off hooking up with my guy, that I was ready to hang up my booty calls wings. Yes he’s a nice guy, lots of fun but he is never going to change. After the last early morning booty call message arrived, I put my phone on silent and rolled over and went back to sleep. That says it all really!

Posted in Sex and naughty stuff on May 3rd, 2008 by Blog Admin | | 1 Comments